Communication & Reality

Every conversation with a loved one living with dementia is a chance to make a difference. By validating their perspective and meeting them on their memory journey, we can create meaningful moments.

• Every time you enter the room, announce yourself. “Hi Mom—it’s ____________.” Don’t ask questions that cause anxiety, like, “Do you know who I am?”
• I would like my friends and family to embrace my reality. For example, if I think my spouse is still alive, or think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
• Don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
• If I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
• Don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places.

Independence, Dignity & Engagement

Here are some ways to preserve independence, protect dignity, and nurture meaningful engagement. These heartfelt wishes celebrate the enduring human spirit and the unchanging need for respect, no matter how abilities may shift:

• If I can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
• I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
• Don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
• I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
• Ask me to tell you a story from my past.
• If I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

Supporting someone’s independence isn’t about what they can no longer do, it’s about adapting so they can still feel capable and valued.

Emotional Support & Daily Comfort

Here, we celebrate emotional well-being and the daily comforts that brighten a loved one’s world.

Simple moments can bring extraordinary joy and comfort. When words become difficult, behaviour becomes communication.

These wishes offer a guide on how to respond with empathy, reassurance, and love:

• If I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
• If I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me. Tell me that I can trust you. “I’ve got this, Mom.”
• Make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. I may be ‘hangry’, and I may have trouble explaining what I need.
• Make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

Sometimes, the best emotional support doesn’t require fixing a problem, it just requires holding a hand, playing a favorite song, or offering a reassuring “You’ve got this.”

Community, Family Care & Love

We conclude with powerful reminders: the importance of community, family care and unconditional love.

These final wishes remind us to care for the caregiver just as much as the individual:

• Don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Find someone who can help you or choose a great new place for me to live.
• If I live in a dementia care community, please visit and/or call me often.
• Don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
• Know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
• Remember that I am still the person you know and love.
• Treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

Caregiving is a journey that isn’t meant to be walked alone. Give yourself grace, seek help when needed, and remember the person beneath the diagnosis.

 If you find this series helpful, please save this post and share it with a friend, or bookmark it for the days you need a gentle reminder.

What was your biggest takeaway from these wishes? Comment below.